Dimension Jumping for Idiots
by Lady Azar de Tameran
Summary: Now a two shot. Ten worlds the Scoobies never visited. But sort of wished they had. Kinda.
1. One

**_Dimension Jumping for Idiots_**

**Disclaimer**: Sadly enough, I do not own _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ or any of the other series mentioned.

**Warnings**: OOC, Cracktastic

AN: This is the compulsory list fic that every writer needs to do at least once. I tried to pick unusual crossovers.

* * *

(_Transformers_)

"So… alien robots?" Xander questioned, elbowing Andrew in an attempt to keep him from staring.

The biggest bot, Opti… something or other, gazed at them appraisingly. "We are autonomous robotic organ-"

"Yeah, yeah. I got that," Buffy interrupted and glanced around. "But seriously, alien robots?" Her attention flickered from the not-quite-as-big yellow one to the huge black dude with the cannons.

"And what was that earlier? A giant droid deathmatch or somethin'?" Faith kicked at the remains of another robot.

"Maybe it was a mating ritual," Andrew piped in, practically vibrating with excitement. "Just like in the Next Generation-"

Xander gave up all attempts at subtlety, stomping on Andrew's foot to shut him up. Willow beamed from her spot next to the green-yellow bot with the grandpa voice, talking a mile a minute. Dawn blushed as the silver one winked at her and did a little dance. Oz studied the leader, who gazed back evenly. Buffy and Faith both yawned. Giles just removed his glasses and started cleaning them with the edge of his shirt.

"Really, Dawn," Buffy said wearily. "This is getting kinda tiresome."

"Well, it's not so great on this end either." Her sister gestured for emphasis. "It's not like I can wave my hand and say '_Abracadabra'_, and we'll just dis-"

-O.o.O-

(_Bleach_)

"Dawn!"

"Hey! This one's not my fault. Who knew there was a world full of dead people?" Dawn crossed her arms over her chest and hunched over.

"But at least, they got us outta there in enough time," Xander inserted. "I thought Faith and that guy with the spiky hair and bells were gonna tear the place apart."

"Yes," Giles acknowledged, "but now, we're stuck at this… _establishment_." His eyes drifted around the store, noting the shadowy corners.

"The Urahara Shouten is always happy to welcome potential customers," the weird guy in the stripped hat commented from across the table. "Tea?" From some strange dimensional pocket, he produced a kettle and cups and a fan.

"Please," Oz spoke softly. He happily sipped away as those around him argued and sniped at one another.

The blond in the hat seemed to delight in taunting Andrew. "Does your head feel heavy? It shouldn't because it's so empty," he sing-songed.

"Shut up, you perverted geta-boushi," one of the teenagers – Ichigo – ordered as a short chick whacked him on the head with his own fan.

"Her… I like." Faith gave a predatory grin, glancing at Ichigo. "And you're not so bad either, big boy."

Ichigo's eyes widened, cheeks turning a fascinating shade of red as he spluttered. The cat lady, Yoruichi, narrowed her own eyes as Faith leaned in very close to him and whispered something in his ear. The poor boy looked ready to explode. Especially when the brunette's hand disappeared underneath the table.

"Alright, Kisuke," Yoruichi stated as she stood up. "Let's see about getting them home." She watched as Ichigo tried desperately to get away and added in an undertone, "Or just away from here."

-O.o.O-

(_Legend of Zelda_)

"Geez, does this guy ever talk?" Buffy inquired with a gesture to the blond dude in leggings. "And what's with his weird shadow? Not to mention horrible fashion sense."

Faith gave him an appraising look. "I don't know, B. He's got his good points." She eyed his muscles like Buffy would a new pair of shoes.

Giles ignored them. "Forgive us, your highness. We're simply trying to go home. I'm not certain we can help you with your problem."

"And yet, you appear in my bedroom, just as Link brings Midna in near death. Then, your red witch saves her." There was a peculiar cast to the princess' eyes, as though she knew some big secret. "Not only that but she manages to return him to his true form."

Willow blushed. "It wasn't all that hard."

"We've had experience with wolf-human thingies before," Dawn admitted with a glance at Oz.

Oz just gave a vague smile. He couldn't help but notice the glowing triangles on the hands of both the princess and her champion. Or the fact that Link was gazing back at him with a vaguely interested expression. They lifted eyebrows at each other as the discussion behind them turned fierce and heated.

"We must save Hyrule," the blonde princess declared. Zora or Zelma or something like that.

"Pfft." Buffy gave a derisive snort. "Only one country?"

"We can do that before breakfast," Xander put in with a crack of his neck.

"It's like a role playing game," Andrew continued. "Just like Final Fantasy or Dragonlance-"

Dawn was quick to interrupt. "How often have we told you that you can't hang out with us anymore if you keep going all spastic nerd? Geeky nerd is fine. Even nerdy geek. But D & D is drawing the line."

Andrew pouted. Dawn shook her finger at him. Willow bit her lip and shifted on her feet. Giles went to clean his glasses. Buffy crossed her arms. Xander adjusted his eyepatch. Oz just waved goodbye to his new friend. Zelma – or was it Zelda? – watched them for a long moment before sighing in defeat.

"Fine. Please be gone from this place." The triangle on her hand glowed brighter as she made a shoving gesture.

Then, the Scoobies were flying.

-O.o.O-

(_The Dark Knight_)

"Want to know how I got these scars? You see-"

Buffy punched him in the face. "No, you sicko. And quit looking at my sister like that, pervert."

He slumped to the ground as she hit him again for good measure, white make-up smearing on the concrete. Buffy dusted off her hands with satisfaction. Nearby, Oz tilted his head to the side.

"A bat… it watches us."

Willow shrugged when Andrew and Giles turned to her. "I have no idea."

But a man suddenly stepped out of the darkness, dressed completely in black with little ears pointing up from the mask on his head. Xander, lover of comics that he was, felt as though this scene should be familiar. However, for the life of him, he just couldn't place it.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" the mysterious man demanded in a harsh voice.

"Hey, bat boy," Faith shot back. "We should be the ones askin' questions here."

Giles rolled his eyes as Andrew clutched at his arm. "We're merely travelers, passing through when this man accosted us." He indicated the unconscious man on the ground, knives visible in his hand.

The bat guy seemed taken aback. "The Joker?" He blinked as though not quite certain what to do.

In the meantime, Oz gazed at the cover of a magazine on the stand nearby and then glanced at the costumed man. His eyes narrowed with sudden enlightenment.

"Bruce Wayne."

The bat dude nearly flinched. And the tension in the air spiked exponentially. Dawn leaned forward to peer at the magazine cover, only to throw her arms into the air.

"That guy! He's like filthy rich. Handsome. And apparently fights evil without any sort of special ability. As if I didn't feel inadequate enough already," she muttered with a flick of her head. "That's it. I officially hate this world. Come on, mojo. Get us out of here."

And much to the bat man's confusion, they disappeared in a green flash.

-O.o.O-

(_Kyou Kara Maoh_)

"So you got sucked into this world through a toilet, and they made you king?" Dawn couldn't possibly believe it was that easy. Like Cordelia all over again.

Yuuri rubbed the back of his head. "Basically." He let out a nervous, little laugh. "This sorta thing happens to me all the time."

That got some raised eyebrows.

"Have you ever died and come back to life ?" Buffy asked skeptically.

Yuuri shifted. "In a way."

"Transformed into an animal of some kind?" Xander questioned, trying not to look at Oz.

"No," the boy admitted, "but I do have an alter ego who likes to make dragons out of water and write justice on everything."

Xander looked at Buffy. Who looked at Dawn. Who glanced at Faith. Who shrugged at Oz. Who blinked at Willow. Who stepped on Andrew. Who bumped into Giles. Who rubbed his forehead.

"Okay," Xander decided magnanimously. "You're officially strange enough to join our club."

"Wait," Willow interrupted with a finger on her chin. "Didn't you say that you could go back to your own world at any time?"

"Well, yeah… but…"

Buffy grinned, showing every one of her perfectly white teeth. "That's great! Do you mind giving us a lift?"

* * *

Ever Hopeful,

_Azar_


	2. Two

**_Down the Rabbit Hole_**

**Disclaimer**: Sadly enough, I do not own _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ or any of the other series mentioned.

**Warnings**: OOC, Cracktastic

AN: Another chapter was requested, and I live to please. Or something like that.

* * *

(_Inuyasha_)

"Dammit!" Buffy kicked at the ground. "I thought for sure that Yuuri kid could get us back."

"Instead, we get sucked into…" Xander gestured to encompass the area around them. Tall trees and oriental style buildings in the distance.

"What appears to be medieval Japan," Giles commented, peering around with actual interest. "I'm just not sure of the specific when. Or even where exactly."

"The lands of the west," a cold voice cut in. "My lands," he clarified. "And this Sesshoumaru demands an explanation."

They were suddenly reminded of the white-haired demonish person still standing there. Most of them had honestly forgotten about him as silent as he was. Really, it was like having another Oz, only not as friendly. The little girl, toad-thingy, and two-headed dragon were a bit different, too.

"Oh, sorry!" Dawn waved a hand at him. "Forgot about you for a minute there."

Faith tilted her head. "I didn't forget about ya, handsome." She gave him a saucy wink and sidled a bit closer. Her fingers just barely caressed the furry covering on his shoulder before he hurriedly drew away.

"This Sesshoumaru does not approve of that… that…" Words seemed to have failed him. "Of that! You will not touch me again."

Faith lifted a brow and put one hand on her hip. "Oh, I want to do more than touch you."

The little girl standing just behind him giggled. Her eyes darted from Willow, who beamed at her, to Dawn, who gave a little wave. Then, they went to Andrew, turning a circle in complete amazement. Before landing on Buffy and studying her long blonde hair.

"They look nice, Sesshoumaru-sama," she informed him then with a smile and scuff of her bare feet. "Rin likes them very much. Can we keep them?"

A pair of golden eyes narrowed. And went from Oz to Giles to Dawn and Andrew then Xander. Next Willow and finally landed on Buffy. He purposely didn't glance at Faith. His shoulders stiffened, single hand reaching for his sword.

Dawn bit her lip. "I'm thinking that's a no."

-O.o.O-

(_The Chronicles of Narnia_)

"The lion talks," Oz commented, the only one in their group not completely stupefied.

Even Giles had his mouth hanging open as his glasses dangled in one hand. This was certainly a first for him. The talking cat at that… _shop_ had been something else entirely. Had been a human capable of changing forms. But he could tell that this was the real deal. A sapient animal.

"Yes," the lion responded evenly. "I do. I am called Aslan." His wise eyes studied them intently, as if not the least bit perturbed that this eclectic group had been dumped in his proverbial lap. "I welcome you all."

"Thanks?" Dawn managed after a minute or two. "We're… eh… glad to be here?"

It was more a question than statement. But that didn't bother Aslan at all. He merely settled back on his haunches and inspected the humans before him.

"I sense great powers among you," he said then in that same deep and even voice. "Some dark. Others bright and shining. But all of them used for good. Have you come by chance to fight the white witch?"

"Er… No. No, we didn't," Xander replied. "We're not so much into the killing witches thing. Demons now? Well, that we can do." He nodded and crossed his arms over his chest.

Aslan's tail flicked as he looked from one of them to the next. "Are you certain?" He inclined his head to Willow. "She is a red witch."

"Oh, not that crap again," Buffy interrupted with clear exasperation in her tone. "It's the same as we told Zelma-"

"I think her name was Zelda," Andrew corrected. But he backed off at her glare.

"Whatever." Buffy made a dismissive motion. "But it's like we told her, we're just trying to get home here."

"Yeah," Faith cut in. "We've got our own problems to deal with. No room to pick up the slack for other guys." She jerked her thumb at the lion. "Though we'd appreciated it you could point us in the right direction."

Aslan gazed at them again for a long moment. Then, he sighed.

"As you wish."

He took in a deep breath and seemed to momentarily sink in on himself then. However, he opened his mouth and let out a great roar. Loud and resounding. Filling the air with its powerful sound. Resonating in everything around them. Rocks. Flowers. Trees.

And Scoobies felt the world crumble out beneath them.

-O.o.O-

(_Iron Man_)

"So giant alien robots. A world full of dead people. A princess, her knight, and a talking shadow." The man in the iron suit ticked off his gold-red fingers. "A creepy stalker guy and a dude dressed like a bat. A king who fell through a toilet. And a talking lion. Does that cover everyone?"

Buffy pressed her lips together as she considered the list. Beside her, Giles just continued to clean his glasses without comment. He didn't even chastised Andrew for practically wetting himself with enthusiasm as he gazed at the wondrous technology all around them. A testament to Giles' severe and unending annoyance. He was really getting too old for all this.

"Oh! Don't forget the demon that looked like a dog," Xander added but then frowned. "Or was it a dog that looked like a demon? I'm very confused about that part."

"Me, too." Dawn raised her hand. "He was hot though."

"Smokin'," Faith agreed, wiggling her hips in a little seductive dance. "I wish we coulda stayed a bit longer."

"Well, that slutty looking priestess had to get us out of there before he and his brother began fighting again," Dawn reminded her. "I didn't want to stick around for that. Especially if they started cutting off limbs again."

"Slutty?" Willow questioned with a little surprise. "You shouldn't call people names."

Oz nodded in agreement from her other side before turning to inspect the workshop around them. It really was impressive.

"Yeah," Buffy inserted. "Besides, her skirt wasn't _that_ short."

The man in the steel suit, who'd perked up at the mention of short skirts, turned his head from one of them to the next. "Slutty priestesses and dimension travelling. A very interesting life you all lead." He actually seemed rather impressed.

"This coming from the man dressed all in metal who fights evil," Xander reminded him with a grin.

"And I look good doing it, too," their host replied and gave a jaunty tilt of his head.

He looked around at them again before slapping a hand on Andrew's back hard enough to nearly rocket him to the floor. Andrew didn't seem to mind at all. He was too mesmerized by the man and his suit and his workshop.

"Come on back into my shop," the iron man said then. "Let's see about getting you guys home."

-O.o.O-

(_Jurassic Park_)

"Oh, like this is so much better!" Buffy all but screamed as they fled for their lives.

Giles ducked under a branch and kept on going. "Less talking," he panted as leaves scratched at his face.

"Yeah," Faith cut in, keeping pace easily with her Slayer enhanced body. "Less talking and more running."

In the background, there was an impossibly loud howl. More like a roar. Which was followed by monstrous footsteps that were as loud as thunder and far too close for anyone's liking. It was the sound of an unbeatable predator now on the hunt. And the Scoobies were her prey.

"Ah!"

Willow yelped as a plant snagged her skirt. She fought for a second, but Oz freed her easily. And they kept on running.

"Get us… the hell outta here, Dawn!" Xander ordered with shortened breath. "Like now!"

"I'm trying," she shouted back, nearly tripping on a root before Oz grabbed her elbow.

The werewolf didn't let go. He just pulled her along with him, snatching Andrew with the other hand and preventing him from being left in their dust.

The heavy pound of footsteps drew even closer. Booming. Deafening. Nearly caught up.

"Any time, Dawn!" Buffy called back to her, shredding plants and branches as she went to clear a trail for the others.

Dawn allowed Oz to drag her along, and she let her eyes fall half-closed. The distinct crack of trees being ripped from the ground was just feet behind them. And there was a second roar, one so loud that it made her ears ring. But she shook that off and focused on the glowing green energy inside of her, drawing it up and out.

The last they heard was a furious bellow before they were whisked away.

-O.o.O-

(_Full Metal Alchemist_)

"Who're you calling so short he can't reach the top shelf with a stepladder, midget for brains!" the really short blond guy demanded. Eddie or Eric or something like that.

"Midget for brains?" Buffy asked, tone almost shrill. "What the hell kind of insult is that?"

"Insult? It's nothing but the truth, pipsqueak!" He jabbed her in the chest and glared at probably the only adult in the world who was eyelevel with him.

"Truth!" Buffy slapped away his hand. "I'll show you truth. With my fist!"

Dawn just watched as her sister launched herself at Edward – was that right? He dodged and kicked out at her ankles, but Buffy leapt over his leg and grabbed for his arm. She used her momentum to elbow him in ribs, but he kneed her in the groin at the same time. That only served to back them both up a step, but in less than a second, they were on each other again.

Beside her, the suit of armor sighed. Giles echoed his sentiment.

"Children," he muttered to himself, one hand on his temple. "All these years… and still, I'm surrounded by children."

Alphonse – the kid in the armor – just looked at his brother for a moment more. Then, he turned back to them.

"I'm really sorry about this," he apologized yet again in that childish voice of his.

Oz patted him on his metal shoulder but remained silent. Faith just cocked her hip.

"Don't worry about it. We're used to it, kid." The brunette lifted a brow as she saw Edward punch her sister-slayer in face, which only seemed to piss her off even more. "And judging him, I'd say that you are, too."

Andrew pouted next to her, staring at the still fighting pair. Buffy was now attempting to pull out Edward's hair, while he blocked her with his metallic arm.

"But I wanted to learn more about alchemy," Andrew all but whined then.

"A little later," Willow assured him with a gentle smile. "We're still trying to figure out how everything works here."

"Yeah," Xander added and rubbed at his one good eye before glancing at Alphonse. "Could you explain that gate thing again?"

* * *

Ever Hopeful,

_Azar_


End file.
